Yesterday it was cold enough to wear a sweater. (Yay!) So what did I choose? A nice hoodie? A cute cardigan? Nope. I went with a swan sweater...a sweater with a swan on it. It is cute, comfortable, and one of my favorite colors, so what's the big deal right? For reasons unknown to me, most people in this city wouldn't choose to wear a sweater with a you-know-what on it. So when I went to my classes I suddenly became extremely aware of how different I looked from the other sorority t-shirt wearing girls. I started tugging at the sleeves and nervously crossing my arms in an attempt to cover the bird. I convinced myself that some of the other girls were looking at me funny and probably thinking, "Where on earth does that "nerd" shop?". As I gathered my books to quickly escape the embarrassment happening in my own head, a couple girls stopped me and said, "Meredith, I really like your sweater!" I was shocked and stammered, "Oh, thank you. Oh! Thanks!".
This same sad little scene happens whenever I tell someone that I like to knit and blog for fun. At first I feel like that superhero knitter, suddenly revealing my hidden talent. However, all too quickly that strength weakens and the only thing I can hear bouncing through my head is "nerd. nerd. nerd. you are a nerd." until my face turns red. The worst part about this is that the only person who has ever called me a "nerd" to my face is...me. (Minus a few cootie-ridden boys in elementary school who called me "four eyes" and then "three eyes" when I had to wear an eye patch...) I'm the one who still isn't confident enough to wear what I want and be interested in something just because it is different.
The fact that I even wore that sweater to class shows me that I'm slowly getting over this self-conscious stuff. For me, I think it's easier to assume that everyone else thinks I'm this weird, awkward, nerd girl who doesn't fit in, instead of coming to terms with the fact that I'm the one who thinks all of those things about myself.
Until I stop putting myself down, I'll never appreciate the unique little quirks that make me, me.
* I know it's been awhile since my last Blogging for Confidence post, but this was something that I really wanted to share. I'm going to try to do a few more before the year is up and I hope you do too. :)
This same sad little scene happens whenever I tell someone that I like to knit and blog for fun. At first I feel like that superhero knitter, suddenly revealing my hidden talent. However, all too quickly that strength weakens and the only thing I can hear bouncing through my head is "nerd. nerd. nerd. you are a nerd." until my face turns red. The worst part about this is that the only person who has ever called me a "nerd" to my face is...me. (Minus a few cootie-ridden boys in elementary school who called me "four eyes" and then "three eyes" when I had to wear an eye patch...) I'm the one who still isn't confident enough to wear what I want and be interested in something just because it is different.
The fact that I even wore that sweater to class shows me that I'm slowly getting over this self-conscious stuff. For me, I think it's easier to assume that everyone else thinks I'm this weird, awkward, nerd girl who doesn't fit in, instead of coming to terms with the fact that I'm the one who thinks all of those things about myself.
Until I stop putting myself down, I'll never appreciate the unique little quirks that make me, me.
* I know it's been awhile since my last Blogging for Confidence post, but this was something that I really wanted to share. I'm going to try to do a few more before the year is up and I hope you do too. :)
I LOVE that swan sweater, where did you get it? It's super cute!!
ReplyDeleteI love your blogging for confidence posts. Wish I had the guts to do the same! I say the same things to myself..
ReplyDeleteBTW, you are SO pretty! :)
Megan
I love this sweater! In England these are like ultra-fashionable right now. I love this series of posts (:
ReplyDeleteI've also noticed that the only person who puts me down is me. What has often helped is asking myself an "if, then" question. Something like, "If I am dressed weird, then what would happen?" Would the world end? Will people think I'm strange? So what if they think that. They are very welcome to think that.
ReplyDeleteObviously your swan sweater is awesome and so are you. Keep on wearing it!
First thing that came to mind when I saw your sweater was 'Woah! Where can I get one of those!' It's seriously awesome and not the slightest bit nerdy. Not that there's anything wrong with nerdyness, I'd say embrace it :)! I think it's so neat you are literally blogging for confidence and I'm now playing with the idea to do the same... I'll let you know when it happens :D!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw this sweater, I said to myself "I need that. So cute!" So, I am totally jealous! :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR BLOG!
XX
Eryka
That sweater is perfect! It's the cutest thing ever and no lies, so are you! Now, I'm totally a nerd myself, so maybe this is a silly thing to say... but I think being a nerd is cool! It means you're smart, unique, one of a kind.... and guys in particular seem to love unique woman! SOOOOO be a proud nerd!!!! <3 love this post btw
ReplyDeleteYeah, so... ehem. Where DID you get that sweater? I want one. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is the cutest sweater! I am rather self-conscious too, and I have definitely turned very red just from someone asking me how I am. I'm getting better though! It's so much easier to be outgoing and confident in our little online empires ;)
ReplyDelete#1... that sweater is adorable!
ReplyDelete#2... I like to think of the word "nerd" as a compliment! The revenge of the nerds movies are hilarious and always make me laugh... and I'm a self-proclaimed science nerd... I equate "nerd" with quirky, unconventional, smart... which are all pretty wonderful qualities to possess.
Welcome to the nerd club, we're all kinda awesome here :)
You know what? I really love your sweater!
ReplyDeleteKisses from Spain.
Interesting post. I never thought that people see knitting as nerdy, more that it's an old lady thing to do. And since I'm not an old lady, I am clearly disproving their stereotype!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to feel like the weird one when everyone else is dressed in a similar, mainstream kind of way but now I like to think that people look at a cool swan sweater and think hey, that girl has her own thing going on and that's great!
Anyway to round up my ramblings, I think that knitting and swan sweaters actually make you COOLER than most people so be proud :D
I really understand how it is! I am really self-conscious about wearing things that are the least bit odd, even though I take pride in being weird and geeky!
ReplyDeleteI recently ordered some cat eye glasses (here's what they look like: http://tinyurl.com/3p67agc), and as I wait for them to get here, I'm trying to summon the courage to actually wear them out in public. I've always really loved the look of them, but they are another one of those "different" things that I get a bit scared of.
Dear Meredith,
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't so long ago that I was also constantly putting myself down and thinking that others just thought I was this weird and socially awkward nerd girl with strange interests and passions. I've always tried to fit in with the 'normal' kids, but with doing that I strayed from who I really am and it made me quite miserable. At some point I decided it is ok to be different and I started to just embrace the weirdness that is me. Strangely enough, that is when I started to be more social and people actually seemed to find my quirks refreshing and interesting. Altough I sometimes still put myself down (building confidence takes time) I can now say that I'm quite proud that I am just a little quirky. Nerds are actually fun and interesting people to be with.
So the final thing I would like to say is, don't worry to much about what others might or might not think of you (even though it's a hard thing to let go). Life is too short for that!
Much love,
Jennifer
P.S. Nerd pride! ^0^
P.S. 2 Btw: i loove the sweather AND the glasses! And I think you look stunning with red listick on ;)
ReplyDeletei am always like this...i am a nerd as well. always and forever.
ReplyDeletei am always worried people are judging me for what i am wearing bc i like to wear "older" clothing and bright tights.
your sweater is one of the cutest sweaters i have ever seen and i want to steal it from you. :P
nerds of the world, unite! you're awesome and own "nerd" if that's the label you want to put on yourself. if it's not, why live under a label? be you....cuz you're pretty fab!
ReplyDeletethat sweater is sooo cute! i want one!
ReplyDeleteOkay, 1] I love that sweater. I seriously think I need one just like it in my closet.
ReplyDeleteAnd 2] I relate to this. SO. MUCH. I feel the same way when people talk about what they like to do and they talk about going places and having huge groups of friends, and I'm there like, "I like arts and crafts...I knit things for my boyfriend and make stuffed animals..." It makes me just a little more confident to read about another girl like me gaining confidence :]
This is a great post, I can definatly relate :)
ReplyDeleteAnd that sweater is adorable!
what a wonderful post! I think I question things about myself like that far too often. In reality probably no one notices or if they do, they are thinking good things!
ReplyDeleteI love that sweater! It's really unique and looks great on you!
Thanks for always putting yourself out there to write these posts! They are always very encouraging!
love the sweater!!
ReplyDeletex x x
1. That sweater is fabulous!
ReplyDelete2. Embrace your nerdiness.
3. Everyone works for us nerds in the end anyway.
4. What does it even matter what others do or don't think... all that matters is what you think and if you are proud of what you have done.
Be strong honey - I can tell you that it does get better... especially after you accomplish #2.. I speak from experience.
I can totally relate to this post! I always feel that feeling whenever I wear something a little different. Still, I usually try to embrace the fact that I am different and unique, and find my confidence not in my peers, but in God.
ReplyDeleteThat sweater is awesome, anyways. I always like to think whenever I wear something weird, "It's called fashion, people!" Fashion is all about standing out. :)
Seeing that sweater made me Squeee! Hearing that you rocked it in public was even better! You're awesome and I can completely relate to being my own worst critic. But I'm working on it!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! A friend and I were at a pizzeria once and two guys came up to us, obviously the one guy liked my friend, and the second guy was only talking to me to make the situation not awkward, and when he asked me what I liked to do for fun I said, "Oh you know, knit and hang out with my cats," and he started laughing and said, "No really," and I said, "...Yes... really," and he got this creeped out look and stopped talking, so I went back to eating my pizza until they left. Awkward knitters for life.
ReplyDeleteugh, i'm in love with that sweater!
ReplyDeletecoming from a 30 year-old who is just NOW overcoming self-consciousness of being too weird or nerdy, i can relate. pat yourself on the back for embracing it now, because you really are awesome, lady!
You're sweater is so adorable!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true Meredith, I know exactly how you feel. I hate that feeling when I think everyone is looking at me or staring at me for one reason or another, but I need to realize that that's all coming from me. Such a great post and I love your Blogging for Confidence series :)
star-crossed smile
what a fabulous sweater!
ReplyDeleteThat sweater is amazing! Did you knit it yourself? Be proud of who you are, girl! If your inner voice is telling you that you are a nerd, REPRESENT! Nerd out and flaunt it!
ReplyDeleteI always feel a little strange when I tell people that I am a blogger because most of them don't know what it really means. Instead of feeling sheepish, I get excited to be the one to introduce them to this amazing blogging world!
Victoria I also knit and hang out with my cats! Its not so bad..
ReplyDeleteAnd Meridith, I love being a nerd! I'm not a super nerd with a pocket
protector, but I'm pretty nerdy. Until recently I wore running sneakers
everywhere, wore jeans and hoodies, and a ski jacket in the winter. I guess
there isn't much difference between university student and soccer
mom...except I'm neither one of these!
I always felt self concious about my shoes...I'm a chemist and work with
nerdy ppl all day. I also work with chemicals that stain and burn through
your shoes...so you don't wear nice ones. It didn't help that everyone I
worked with also dressed like a slob.
Now I work in another government lab, but less chemicals here. I work with
XRay instruments, so I can wear cute shoes and clothes and feel grown up!
Most of my friends are geeky science nerds, engineering nerds, board game
nerds, knitting nerds, and internet obsessed beings.
Once I wore a chemistry tshirt biking to work, and a prof stopped me to ask
about it! In the grown up world, its ok to be different :D
I think we are all more harsh on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. It's easy to think we don't care about what other people think of us and that we're comfortable in our own skin, but actually getting to that point is a much larger challenge. It's great you keep challenging yourself to embrace who you are, even when it turns your cheeks red or makes you feel unwanted attention. I admire you for it.
ReplyDelete-Sara-
I think your sweater looks just adorable on you, Meredith!
ReplyDeleteI know just what you mean, though. So often I'll put something on, only to feel silly in it and change. I let myself become worked up over what I think people are going to say.
Your post really inspires me to wear what I want...with confidence!
First, the sweater is awesome.
ReplyDeleteSecond, knitting should make you feel like a superhero.. How many people can really do that? Its awesome!
Third, there isn't anything wrong with being a nerd, if you feel like you are. (i know i am! :D)
Also, being smart, talented & beautiful is a total trifecta of awesome!
I really enjoyed reading this post. "Until I stop putting myself down, I'll never appreciate the unique little quirks that make me, me." I can so relate!
ReplyDeleteYou expressed absolutely clear, what I think sometimes - thank you for your confidence . I think it is so important to stop these kind of thoughts that can really make you unhappy. Often it is because we put others above ourselves, consider, their opinion is the "right" one and we are wrong...but who defines right or wrong? I read this on a blog a few month ago:
ReplyDelete"To live a creative life we must loose our fear of being wrong."
Enjoy your day!
Meredith...that is the quote on my FB-page!! :-D
ReplyDeleteI like you sweater, it's nice. Nerds are good. They make nice husbands later, and nice friends, and they don't look like Barbie when they're 40. And being nerdy is much more interesting. Keep blogging girl.
(fancy being told you have Jeep-tyre lips when you're 12...)
Meredith, I love your blog, the things you knit and the things you find on the Internet and share with us. Keep being yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteAdorable, totally adorable! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love the sweater. You have individual style, are talented and unique. As your confidence grows you'll start to appreciate how great these qualities are and you'll be proud of yourself for not following the crowd and looking like all the other students around you :)
ReplyDeleteGreat sweater! Also, I really wouldn't worry about telling people you have a knitting habit - lots of people are crafting something nowadays, I don't think it's unusual at all. And if they do think it's weird, stuff 'em!
ReplyDeleteFrom one self-conscious girl to another, I completely understand.I always try to remember,though, that most people are so self-involved that they're not paying attention to me anyways lol.
ReplyDeleteI do have to say that I think that sweater is friggen rad, and that the colors look great on you!
i adore your swan sweater. in fact, i blogged about it awhile back! you're a smart, beautiful and talented girl. don't let anyone get you down!
ReplyDeleteYou're my super hero knitter/blogger. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand---I know so many people with "glamorous" lives and wardrobes and hobbies: I'm a dress-loving English teacher who likes to read and write. But I think that "style" is so much less about what you wear, and so much more about feeling confident in it. You looked great and you're definitely a superhero :)
ReplyDeleteYa I totally understand where you're coming from. When I look around at school or even in the supermarket people seem so confident, but then you realize they're just like me tugging on their shirt so it doesn't cling to them or trying to look like they know where they're going when they're really lost. I believe some of the best moments are when we give up and give into being the nerd we are. (and as a sidenote being called a nerd is something I've grown to like, so be proud of it girl!! ) lol anyways, it's like in friends when Phoebe is running around as crazy as she wants and Rachel looks more "normal" but isn't having fun at all. Try it it's a lot of fun!! Have a great weekend, nerd power! haha
ReplyDeleteI'm with all of the "embrace the nerd" comments. There's nothing wrong with being a nerd. We make the world go round these days because nerds are innovators.
ReplyDeleteYour swan sweater looks cute. If you don't try to hide it and fake some confidence, it's unlikely anyone will find it unusual. I dress a little strangely compared to the people at my Uni, but I act like it's perfectly normal and no one comments except to compliment my clothes.
I LOVE the sweater! I so want one!
ReplyDeleteholy moly I love your blog!!!
ReplyDeleteNerds are beautiful!!
that sweater is just so very adorable!
xoxoxo
Dear Meredith
ReplyDeleteDe-lurking to say that one should always try to embrace their "nerd" and let it show. It wasn't until I started going to art school a year ago that I told the world to f-it and wore things that scared me. It helped me define and embrace my personal style which I am still refining.
Stay brave pretty girl! :)
Love,
Anna
oh, meredith! you are just so precious. now that i'm back in school, hardly knowing anyone who "understands" me, i feel sometimes out of place with what i wear. and, like you, i'm a quirky girl too! not that i like being stared at, but i certainly enjoy being an individual that thinks outside the fashion box. you're well on your way, missy! :)
ReplyDeletemeredith, your sweaters and glasses are both perfect! i think you're awesome. like, really awesome. I wish we could hang out... :( but im so happy to know you
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to everything you've said in this post. I used to think I was really confident. I don't know if things have changed or I'm just noticing it now, but I'm not. I put on a brave face and say "I don't care what you say, I like it" when my family teases me about what I wear, but the truth is: I do care. Inside I feel like everyone things I'm just a silly little girl and I believe I am.
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard, and I admire you for fighting it. That swan sweater is beautiful, and it's great that you had the courage to wear it to class. :)
oh i almost wish i hadn't seen this post because I'm not actually sure if I can live without that swan jumper! it is so adorable - I'm not surprised you got compliments - anyone who would think you are a nerd is 1. really boring and 2. obviously lacking taste. Also, nerds are pretty cool anyway ;)
ReplyDeleteDude - that is the *cutest* sweater, ever!! :) Love it! And way to rock it, too - I definitely get the same feelings and I'm sad that it holds me back, sometimes...so I feel you! I've come to see 'nerd' as a good thing, though - nerds are cool. Who says they aren't?! That always confused me. :)
ReplyDeleteGeek chic is in right now! ;)
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about telling people you knit. I'm in the army and surrounded by "manly men" who lift weights and beat each other up for fun. When they ask me what I do and I say "knitting" they think I'm out of my mind! It's all good though, I like it and that's all that matters.
being a nerd is mad as fun though!
ReplyDeleteI love being as weird as i possibly can (in the my personality's quirks way, not weird creepy chick that eats your leftovers off the ground or anything way.)
I LOVE embracing who I am :)
YOu totally rock that amazing sweater and I totally want one!
Nerds are important :)
I looove that sweater! i need more for next winter. ;)
You are always beautiful!
and the only person who can allow you to feel like a 'nerd' is yourself. other people's opinions don't matter unless you let them. :)
being 'out of your mind' is far more adventurous than being boxed in your mind. :)
anyway, i'm ranting.....
I definitly think its a great idea and although I love being weird and a nerd I thought of joingin in with your idea so check out my blogposts about blogging for confidence :)
ReplyDeletexx Min
http://thatsmin-e.blogspot.com/2011/10/blogging-for-confidence.html
Knitting is so one of those things, that people struggle to see past the old lady quality of. I'm always a bit shy to disclose my hobby to people too. Made even worse by the fact that my boyfriend smokes a pipe (legitimately old manish, at parties and everything) we are nicknamed farfar and mormor (Danish for grandma and grandpa). Love the message behind this post.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning to embrace my inner nerd! :) Seriously- who gets to decide what's "cool" or what's uncool?
ReplyDeleteI'm shy and awkward, but I'm realizing that I'm even more so when I dwell on those things about myself.
I think you're awesome and I love reading your blog. :)
~Kristin
Thank you for this post. And that sweater? Amazing!
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I know some chic sorority girls :) (I myself am one of them, on a rare occasion!) That aside, I love your sweater- that is one of my favorite colors too.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really neat that you've written posts like this one. I think a lot of people (me included) read pretty blogs by pretty, seemingly confident people and wonder how they do it. In truth, they don't "do" anything. They're just like everyone else with insecurities.
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel odd being open about my knitting hobby, too. Many times the other person has no idea how to respond to the revelation, probably because they have little or no exposure to it.
I've joined you in the confidence mission, her is my own 'blogging for confidence' post here:
ReplyDeletehttp://allsewnupetsy.blogspot.com/2011/11/mission-accomplished-red.html
Thanks for the challenges!
Your sweater is adorable! :)
ReplyDeleteNobody has ever called me a nerd when I reveal my talent. They just go: "my God, you have time for all of this?". From superhero to lazy twit in pyamas, hanging on the couch all day with a pair of needles in hand...
ReplyDelete"So THIS is what you do when you're at home?". What do YOU do when you're at home? YOU watch tv, I WATCH TV AND KNIT. Not that big a difference right?